THE ASSMELL..(ass smell...or as smell) and saving the world

i pity u guys/gals who actually stink and have an aversion towards perfumes... that's understandable (being stinking) esp over here in the tropics... u don't have any potions but perhaps sweat it out... and the sweat may just remain there l;eaving u uneasy.... harborin more bacteria who let out those wonderful smells,.. hey certainly u'r not at fault... one day a a hitherto non stinking person may just be probably th latest yardstick in stinkingness..if there's a word like that... but u get the pt rt..?... here's a one step solution to all ur problems...esp if ur that kind having an aversion towards the smell as i said before....

here's it..... think abt it... u hate perfumes.... smell pinching u'r nose... maybe nauseating even.... so if by anyway u can let thet smell of the perfume go elsewhere rather than ur nose.... u'r problem is solved...rt..? and all the while the perfume should remain on your body so the pri mary problem of u being stinking (just in case u've forgotten it by now) is solved.....the human body's such a wonderful contraption that probably the only thing i've understood learning abt it until now is that a lifetime's too short to learn abt it... we'll talk of the body sum other time... the pt is that u can spray the perfume in such a way that u don't get the smell.... the only place i can think of ...is........... well u guessed it rt..... right in between the buttocks.. there'e a question of reaching there.. but let's assume that u can do that in some way... so what happens wen the perfume is applied there and only there... trake this scenario... a man comes to u walking... and he's repelled by u'r stinking demeanour...i mean stink... and he walks away fast.... then suddenly the wiff of the perfume 4m ur butt catches his nostrils by surprise,.... he leaves having a different opinion altogether now...like... (i thot he was a stunk ... but hey he smells so nice .... )...

that's not the only benefit.... if u'r the farting kind.... here's something that is an incentive for you to fart.... for every decent fart of yours.... max permeation for the perfume.... so u don't have to have anymore restraints on your diet...(esp potatoes)....more so u've got every reason to eat more potatoes./... i'm not speking for the potato farmers... but the per capita potato consumption will increase manifold....more profit for the farmers.... less poverty suicides... people who are moree emotionally strong.... see how stinking people can make a difference by a single noble thoughtful gesture of their's...

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT IT

i've been racking my brains lately....( i know some of you guys would
have already raised your eyebrows quizzically and in deep rooted
sceptism wondering on how could someone ever possibly rack on some
non existant entity...i'm talking of my brains here...let's assume
that it was dormant...not totally non existant as some of you would
like to put it...and let's assume that it has gone into a temporary
phase of (hyper)activity...ever since i've writen a letter to a
friend of mine and felt very stupid abt it...

i did show the letter to a few and got various opinions...the
most common being (more than 50%) commenting on the torture and even
the prospects of death (should i say suicide) the reader may possibly
or probably would have had to endure...i'm rather taking this
seriously bcos even my dad made a comment on similar lines... he
called it printworthy trash that should and must not be read by
anyone more...lest they may have to endure torture unwarranted and
entirely unprecedented and absolutely for no fault of theirs except
perhaps the momentary one of trying to read it....

most of you would not have got this far reading this letter.
that just proves that there are sane and sensible people after
all...and if u've got this far reading this... let me hope that you
have... and in which case can rightfully claim to be candidates for
the nobel prize in peace for tolerance...not that you are insane and
out of your mind...no hard feelings...ok...?

that has just brought us to the topic...abt all the bright
ideas i've been nurturing lately...numero uno...abt getting to the
south pole. not just that... but getting there by swimming down the
indian ocean until i reach the coast and then hike with or without
special thermos clothing....but there's a snag since i'm especially
inadept at swimming i may have to scrap the whole idea...in fact
there's a family joke doing decently good rounds amongst my
relatives...that i'm the guy who has forgotten to swim after learning
it long back....sigh they just dont understand that i've added weight
all the years along...i'm not anymore the 20kg 7 or 8 yr old
something who could swim...the ability as such remains dormant...it's
not absent...just don't have enough resources to get along


the second bright idea was to consider how much time i spent
unresourcefully in a year or a month... that did not turn to be a
very bright idea ultimately...some grossly shocking and shaking
details popped up... no gossip here... i don't intend to share the
details over here... that could possibly make me a candidate for mass
lynching... but yes it did reveal some startling facts

the other idea was to start an exporting firm and to market
rice flakes(avil)abroad...imported cornflakes are a hit among the
average city dwellers' breakfast menu... a kilo of kellogs can leave
you poorer by 300rs but a kilo of our naadan avil costs less than one-
tenth of that...and it has definitely more nutrient value... maybe
we'll give the americans a sample of free will fairing by our indian
avil dominating the sell list in wal mart....or spencers...

the fourth and final bright idea was to take up tennis as a
career option... that way i could play @ roland garros or at arthur
ashe stdm or be a member of the all england lawn tennis and croquet
club as i like...not to mention all the fame and stardom associated
with being a top player... ralph nadel... please excuse me... i'd hog
and steal the limelight from the marjorican wonder boy.... but again
there's a snag... i've not seen a tennis racket to date and therefore
would not know how to hold it properly... but otherwise i'm a perfect
player presumably

my ideas have not run short.. it's just that it's time for
me to go home...in fact i'm willing to share to anyone who's
interested more endearing and brilliant ideas....
now i'm perfectly sure that my mind was just dormant and all
it needed to come from the gallows and the depth was some
inspiration...and the averages were a good source of
inspiration....mf hussain comes close.. but he couldn't make it a match...

i'd certainly like feedback abt this article... please...
nothing physical...no brickbats or stones...they are strictly
prohibited...and are counterproductive in the very long run....


and if you did read this far i'm very sure there'd be some kind of
feedback for sure....that way i can approximately estimate the level
of readership (or patience to be exact)